We heard reports that the Provost had a meeting called for all deans to sign a loyalty oath to the administration.
Apparently many of the University's deans crawled to the meeting and grovelled their way to providing their signature. A couple are reported to have preserved their dignity and refused to sign.
Oddly, the report is that the person serving as the shill to call the meeting was Lynd A. Foolisham. Yes, the equal opportunity official.
A few weeks later she resigned, giving the time-proven reason to spend more time with her family. (No, we are not making that up.)
We await the announcements by those few deans that they will be stepping down to spend more time in their department.
Department in College of Business to be Restructured
More changes on the way: the College of Business has been told to change one of their departments and rename it to reflect the new emphasis. The newly restructured program will be the Department of Top-down Micro Mismanagement.
A main goal is to produce majors who could serve as administrators in universities.
ASU saves money on disseminating information
ASU recently announced that it would be hring a new position: Vice Provost of Research. As often happens, the faculty were first made aware of this decision by reading it in the Watauga Democrat.
Makes us feel special.
University strategy for SACS
The University carefully prepared its plan for the SACS review. They gathered a large amount of data, hopefully to distract the team from noticing either the widespread dissent on campus or the ill-chosen theme for the Quantity Enhancement Plan (or was that Quality?). While many lists of attributes of college graduates desired by employers include critical thinking, working in groups, and good communication (hmm..that sounds like research experience), we decided on, well, international experience, which appears on no lists.
In his 4/11 email about SACS, the Chancellor said they were "overwhelmed by the enthusiasm for the topic of Global Learning and international education on our campus." We must assume that enthusiasm is among the deans, chairs and administrators who have gotten lots of free junkets to other countries.
apologies to Scott Adams.
The beatings will continue until the morale improves...
The University tried to pressure faculty member Diva Needledman to change his grant proposals to fund his academic year salary. It seems that it was not enough that he was a model faculty member, bringing in grants, doing research, public outreach and good teaching.
"This would allow us to charge even more indirect and reroute more money directly into our programs," said College of Healthy Stuff, Dean Fretting Whittlessly.
We can't keep having a prof get tons of grants that just help him do his research, said Provost Gonoverzealous.
Speaking of grants ...
At the annual Grant Writers Reception the Provost was heard to say that we should not bother with grant proposals that do not bring in indirect funds for the University. Research and Grants Deans Dimly Hunted and Holy Hurts were seen to shudder.
Really makes a lot of us feel appreciated for bringing in hundreds of thousands of dollars in equipment funding.
"We really need those indirect funds to build the Health Stuff program," said an official.
University experiments with survey design
Appalachian is experimenting with having campus surveys designed by freshmen students in Survey 1001. This is our conclusion based on several of the questions on the campus Climate Survey, which had items like that below. This one is in the category of "perception is the same as data."
And, they had questions that did not have a "Not applicable" choice that we married faculty might need:
The editor had a student assistant trot the required form over to the Provost's office for signature to allow alcohol at a University event. The student was told that the form was old--it had been changed a few months ago. Having the presence of mind to ask if they had sent out an email to everyone about that, she was told "No, we expect the faculty to keep up on the Policies Manual."
I don't know about you but I start each day perusing that document (which has dead links, by the way).
EDBERT (private joke)
apologies to Scott Adams.
Almost a day does not go by without AIM going down. It's almost a waste of time for them to email us that it is down again. And, don't you just love those cute sayings on the AIM home page? Very professional...
Subject: Great retirement perk...
How do I get mine? I'll take a Cessna!
Appalachian, after showing Jerry Moore the door, made another fine decision in moving to BCS. In the Sun Belt we will play such fine teams as Idaho and New Mexico State. Students are already starting to save for airline tickets to go to the games.
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